Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize