So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
