i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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