Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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