Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we should paint friendship bongs
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