Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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