Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
