you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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