I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize