Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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