You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
