I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
