i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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