you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
