I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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