So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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