the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
