i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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