these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
