that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize