Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
