You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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