so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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