So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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