Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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