You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
