So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
