halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
