apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
