the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
