My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize