I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
