just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
