Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
