DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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