wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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