oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize