I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize