There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
