My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Semen is not good for contacts.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
