3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
