I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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