So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
