Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
