bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
there is glitter all over my balls
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
