you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Alive.
So much puke
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
