Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
