He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
