We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
