Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
