honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
