covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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