So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
