your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
God, I missed his penis.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
