please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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