epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
