is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
