in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I didn't notice because vodka
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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