My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
