and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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