I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
