I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
