I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
