You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dicks are not precious.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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