I think I died a long time ago.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
