I'm drive I can fine osifer
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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