I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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