I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
