Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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