What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
