As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
