last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize