There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
