So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
