someone threw a dead crab at me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
