That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
