Can Purell be used as lube?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize