He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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