Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
