So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
