i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
