This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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