she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
