Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize