he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
