I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
