Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
