...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
