I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
