is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
